From childhood we develop our first identity, our cultural identity. This is the identity that is imposed on us by others. It comes from our families and our life at home and gradually extends to our friends and the social circle outside. Eventually we bring in the culture of school and perhaps religion. Tied in throughout all these interactions with other people are the cultures of race, gender, size, and age. These, along with the current issues in society seem to make us who we are or form our identity.
But is this our true identity, or is it simply the identity that we have been compelled to take?
There’s the old saying “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” that we could apply to our identity as well. If how we are living and the identity we have assumed works for us, why change it? But where is the personal growth in maintaining the same identity we had since we were children. At what point do we choose to leave our childhood identity behind and discover who we truly are?
For most of my life I accepted the cultural identity I was given as a child. And although there are parts of that cultural identity that have remained, and in fact have been developed beyond the child stage, the time came to discover who I really am.
EE Cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
My cultural identity said that women were the weaker sex – It took courage to step out and prove that I was strong.
My cultural identity said that larger women could not be successful – It took courage to hold my head up and not only succeed, but flourish.
My cultural identity said that it was too late – It took courage to begin something new and grasp my dreams.
My cultural identity said that people would only see white privilege – It took courage to understand that love is universal and regardless of race, all people need love and acceptance.
Discovering our true identity doesn’t mean throwing the baby out with the bath water. In fact, there are many parts of my first identity that have matured into my current identity, it simply means we find the courage to leave behind that part of us that we no longer have use for and become who we were meant to be.